Oneness: Getting to the Heart of the matter.

This morning I had an interesting conversation about Oneness. A situation arose in my friend’s life where she chose to finish a relationship with some friends as it was no longer serving her. However some “spiritual” friends think this is not in oneness and is not an appropriate course of action.

My response is it depends whether oneness is a belief and concept originating in the mind or something that is felt in the heart. The problem with beliefs is that they are always changing – what is true today may not be tomorrow. They are also limiting and lead to judgements of right and wrong. If I believe in oneness does that mean I don’t believe in twoness?

We live in a world of maya or illusion where the ego believes that I am the centre of the Universe. The ego’s perspective is one of separation – me and you, him and her. Ironically once the ego has surrendered it turns out that not only am I the centre of the Universe, I am the Universe! And so are you because there is only one of us in the room.

Now to the Heart of the matter. Is it possible to feel oneness with somebody in the heart even though you are not talking to them? I suggested to my friend that it absolutely is. There may be times when it is appropriate to withdraw from a relationship because there is so much entanglement that it is the only way to stay sane and find oneself within all the chaos. Once things have settled it is easier to gain a higher perspective and see the learning and perfection in this part of the play in creation.

One of the pitfalls of spiritual activists or new agers is that they can become very “nice” and allow people to hurt them or dishonour ones boundaries because we “should” all be one and love each other no matter what. You may have heard of tough love when it is appropriate to put down boundaries and in certain situations withdraw for the highest good of all parties.

The ultimate truth is that we are all one. However as long as there is ego there will be perceived separation. When ego is prevalent oneness stays as a belief in our minds rather than something that is felt and lived from the heart.